A Caveney Clan Holiday

After five years of counting down and a solid year of planning and preparations, our Caveney Clan Christmas holiday gathering arrived in late December. This holiday gathering, coined a reunion by the cousin contingent, and rightfully so, was made more meaningful as it was preceded by nearly two years of COVID impacts.

We have valued getting together once-every-five-years since 2001 when my father initiated this wonderful plan, now tradition. We pilgrimaged to MI again in 2006, and then in 2011 we expanded to include my mother. Although she and my father have been divorced since the mid 1980s, I like to say they “did divorce well” in regards to us children. They did not speak poorly of the other and kept their disagreements out of our experiences. And let’s be real–they made and raised the four of us–so why not focus on the positive and enjoy the gift of time together?? That’s exactly what we’ve done these past three Christmas gatherings (2011, 2016, and 2021).

This recent event was our fifth gathering spanning 21 years: 2001, 2006, 2011, 2016, and 2021. And it was our largest with 32 people in attendance on the peak days of Dec 27-30. We were supposed to be 35, but unfortunately one cousin tested positive for COVID a few days before she and her parents were scheduled to meet up with us. We were saddened to miss them, and to have them miss out on the fun; we simultaneously appreciated them not wanting to infect anyone else. Thankfully she has recovered!

There is no doubt–this holiday time together was a dream come true!

Over a year ago we (my siblings and I) agreed that the most important focus of this quinquennial event was that we find a location where we could ALL sleep and stay together. For that reason we rented a large lodge on Otsego Lake in Gaylord, Michigan. This was an hour and 15 minutes from my father’s property (75 miles)–but that was also our target, to have him and his wife, Mary, stay with us and relax more (having held it in the past partly at their home, they had more work to do). We didn’t want anyone missing out on the late night fun which always happens when a family or group has to depart the rental to find their bed at Dad’s. Late nights bring some of the best fun–games, stories, often some drinks, as well as singing and dancing. No one should have to drive in the wee hours to find their bed!

A core group of us arrived on Dec 23–each of my siblings (and their spouses and kids) and my mother. On Christmas Eve Day we drove to my dad’s property where we selected and cut down our Christmas tree. That night he and Mary joined us at the rental. More people arrived on the 25th, the 26th, and the 27th. We had our greatest number of attendees from Dec 27-30. Some left on the 30th, others on the 1st, and the last of us on the 2nd. We did have cousins attend that I haven’t seen since I was a very small child; and we also had new members by marriage to welcome to the Clan. I met a few for the first time–but we found that no matter where we called home–VA, ID, CA, TX, SC, NC, MD, MI, and Turkey–we have shared histories and memories, and a great appreciation for the gift of time together. 

We have gotten very good at planning and sharing the labor. In the months/weeks before we gather we coordinate meals and events on a shared google document. We had a harmonious mix of free, leisure time and planned/offered events. We had three “field trip” days–the 24th to get the Christmas tree, the 28th took us to the Pigeon River Country State Forest (about 30-45 min away). This was where my family moved to live in 1974 when I was nine months old. We toured what used to be our familial home, and what is now an “Interpretive Center”–The Pigeon River Country Discovery Center. It tells the story and history of the forest as well as sharing with visitors all the wonderful things one can see and do there.

This was probably one of the highlights of the holiday for me. How wonderful to stand in front of the fireplace I remember from my childhood, to look down upon the river in which I played and swam, to discover how small my bedroom now seemed to these adult eyes, to read quotes by my father and other conservationists I once knew. This special place will forever live on in my memories as it gifted me a beautiful storybook childhood–the home and the land that surrounds it. 

My father and Mary had coordinated ahead of time to have some special experiences for us that day–snowy wagon rides once again with Paul and his wonderful team of Percherons; a hotdog cookout complimented by delicious soups made by Mary (creamy potato and veggie & venison); a host of OLD photos from back in the day splashed across what used to be our dining room table; my siblings and I were interviewed by Dale Franz, a member of the Pigeon River Country Association; and last but not least, gathering for a family photo with the building behind us, and another with the Pigeon River behind us.

There was an optional sledding excursion on the 29th of December and then our final field trip was to my father’s Famous Grouse Farm on the 30th for shooting fun. Or for some of us–my sister Fawn, cousin Melaney, and I–a walk through the snowy woods. I have to say we were all fortunate to enjoy the beauty of a snowy holiday but with no major weather impacts or hindrances to travel. Thank goodness for that!

The rental lodge was perfectly situated to offer communal space in the center–a living room area around the fireplace, two tables–one large and one perfectly made for playing euchre, a favorite Caveney Clan pastime, and a loft area where the younger generation often gathered to play their own games and to stay up later into the nights. Then there were two “wings,” each with two queen bedrooms (I bunked with my mom which was SO much fun with our midnight chats!), and a bunk room that slept 7-10 each (boys on one side and girls on the other). If you went to bed before the rest, it was okay–you were out of the central space and had some distance from the noise and commotion. It was really quite ideal.

We walked on the frozen lake, explored the nearby neighborhood, used the grill on the porch for burgers on NYE. We played games, caught up on life, and shared so many meals, snacks, and toasts. The time together was so wonderful for my soul that upon returning to Turkey I did not suffer from jet lag–a true miracle. I was so grateful for having the wonderful time together–so many fun and beautiful memories to reflect on and share with others–that I simply slid back into my routine life. 

As I departed campus one afternoon, I think my second day back, I crossed paths with a Turkish colleague who follows me on Facebook. He complimented my holiday, my life actually, and said, “your life is so colorful and full of joy.” I couldn’t say it better myself! I love this family of mine–we are from many places, have a diversity of experiences, opinions, and beliefs, have different dreams for our respective lives and futures, but in the middle of it all is so very much LOVE and JOY.

Thanks, Clan, for being there to make the memories!

P.S. Thanks to Cousin Melaney our next gathering will be for the 4th of July next year–2023!! Life is too short to wait another five years to have fun together.