In my three years of living in Mongolia, my father was my only visitor. He arrived the night before I did, and was there for the first two weeks of my new life. Don’t get me wrong, I was thankful to have a fellow family member there–to have him see where I would be living and working. However, I expect he left with many questions about how my life would proceed. His concerns were not unfounded. But he was supportive (as always), and had faith I would figure things out. I did. And when things fell apart, I sorted that out and have moved on. I have immense gratitude for my parents, for the upbringing they provided, as well as the experiences I’ve had and previous choices I’ve made–I’m resilient, confident, and have an unshakeable core of perseverance and grit. But I couldn’t have done it without superstar friends!
I’ve been in Turkey for just over three months and I’ve already had three visitors! All of them friends and people I met in Mongolia. I wouldn’t say I was ready for guests in that I am still figuring out where things are, how to get around, learning important Turkish phrases and words, and what the best restaurant or shop is for any given wish. But I do know that public transportation is easy to navigate, that taxis are affordable and plentiful, and that Turks are friendly and helpful. So while I had to be at work, my guests were perfectly capable of stepping out into Izmir and discovering the place and people for themselves.
My first guests were here at the end of September for a week. I met Tricia shortly after arriving to Mongolia. She was a fellow founding member of a little club we started for American women who were married to Mongolian men. We gathered together to share American traditions (ex. Thanksgiving), and to commiserate about our frustrations with our adopted country/home. Most of our club’s regular contact existed in the virtual world. While I very much believe that face-to-face friendships and relationships matter greatly; I also know that we all kept one another supported and encouraged through our online community and tech-connected network.
While I saw Tricia on occasion in Ulaanbaatar, we led fairly different lives, and worked in different circles. However, when my life turned upside down she was there for me in every and any way I needed. To listen to me vent, to watch me cry, to help me sort out decisions. On a dark and scary night when I questioned so many choices, it was her voice of reason that reminded me; “nothing is permanent.” And it got me through. She was the friend I needed most at critical junctures. Thanks, Tricia, for that!
So having her and her husband, OT, spend a week with me in Izmir was a celebration! We had time to eat, drink, talk, and simply relish in the seaside lifestyle that IS Izmir. We’d never had such uninterrupted time together. It was a blast!
In the time I did have off with the lovely couple we ate and drank seaside (repeatedly), we went to Çeşme to spend a day swimming in the Aegean Sea (they made it back for a second day!), ate local cuisine (fish, calamari, shrimp), and dozed seaside. We took a day trip to epic Ephesus (more on that later!), saw St John’s Basilica, and the House of Mary. I took them out for döner, and we stopped for fresh made baklava on the way home most evenings. Perhaps what I liked best is that we did not focus on my hard times before moving here. We talked about the NOW, and a little about what we all want in the future. Mostly we enjoyed being in the here and now with one another, surrounded by great weather, sunshine, tasty food, local brews, and easy conversation. It was good to have a friendship that had been forged a world away, visit me here. I don’t know where we’ll meet up again, but have faith we will.
Three weeks later, my second visitor arrived. Kate and I each spent three years in Mongolia working at the American School of Ulaanbaatar. She was in the secondary all three years; I spent my first year as the Librarian at the elementary building and then moved up to secondary for the next two years. We were acquaintances the first year; fledgling friends in the second year, and then this past year expanded our relationship exponentially. Part way through the last school year we created our own tradition–Hump Day Hangouts! We’d enjoy some brews and order food for delivery on Wednesday nights. Sometimes we watched a movie together.
Our challenges and struggles were overall different, but because we were in a cold, polluted, and isolating place, we became family for one another when the goings got tough. When I felt I couldn’t stay in my apartment safely, Kate took me and Zigzag into her home, and we were roomies for a spell. Our pets became fur-siblings. In a terrible time of need, Kate was my mother and sister and best friend and therapist. I knew she had my back in both my personal and professional realms. And the kicker–I really like her! She’s sassy, and honest, and has an incredibly large heart.
Her visit to Turkey was a bit shorter, but we made the most of it! I FINALLY made it to the landmark Clock Tower with her, and we wandered around Kemeraltı, the meandering bazaar in my new home. We saw “A Star is Born” and then dinner out. The next day we spent out on the water–my first boat trip! Along with about 10 other of my colleagues and their friends, we moved from cove to private cove for swimming, food, conversation, and afternoon naps. For her last evening in town we made it down to Alsancak for an Ottoman style lamb dinner at Tavacı Recep Usta Restaurant. After years of eating “lamb” in Mongolia (three year old mutton), it was lovely to finally have melt-off-the-bone lamb.
Before departing she toured my beautiful campus, met my librarian colleagues, and we had döner for lunch. We are not so far away from one another now and there are already plans to meet up again in the near future.
It’s November now and while I know it’s fall in my mind, I can’t get over the sunny weather with highs in the upper 60s and lows around 45-50. I know it’s not summer, but it’s also not fall in my mind. Last night I enjoyed a couple drinks with a new friend down by the seaside where the roof top was still open to the sky and trees above. I am overwhelmed with gratitude–for this new job and school, for the seaside lifestyle, for a supportive family, for the technology that keeps me connected to so many, and of course–for friendships, both old and new.